i don't even know what to name these anymore lol

08/14/2023 at 05:08 PM PT

Whoops. I lied again. School just started again for me, so I've had a lot of stuff to deal with. Realistically, my workload has been pretty light, but I've stressed myself out with personal projects. I do this pretty often, and it's a big reason I struggle with commitment. I've definitely been improving over the last few years though, even thoguh I'm not demonstrating it here.

It's been extremely hot here recently (100+°f), and although this is controversial, I wish it would cool down. I hate heat much more than I hate cold. You can put on as many coats as you want, but you can only take off so many layers. Hopefully, fall will come early-ish, and the suffering won't have to last too long. Regardless, by October, it will have probably cooled down, which I'm looking forward to. That's also when the Five Nights At Freddy's movie comes out. I'm not personally a huge fan of FNAF, but I have friends who are looking forward to it, and I'm excited for them.

The other (and usually only interesting) thing that happens in October is Halloween! My friends and I haven't gone trick-or-treating for a couple years now, but I still look forward to hanging out with them. Most years, we just have a normal sleepover, but we stay out extra late. I'm really lucky to live in a place where we can be out at night, because I do really enjoy it. I love seeing the world after dark, much more than I do during the day. It would be a genuine dream of mine to live in a high-rise apartment, just so I can see city lights at night.

I do hope for at least some part of my life, I get to live in a major city. I've lived in the suburbs my entire life, and while it's nice to have a bedroom big enough to fit more than a single cheerio, I don't think I would really mind. City life has always appealed to me. It's a mix of walkability (cars make me very anxious) and convenience, but also just general feel. For some reason, the idea of having a tiny, cosy apartment has always appealed to me much more than having a large house. At some point, I'd like to figure out why. I wonder if it's just the style that's commonly associated with apartments, or if it's something else. Let me know in the comments below if you have any ideas!!!!!

Drastically switching topics, I have an announcement to make. As some (probably all, I don't think many people read this besides my close friends lololol) of you know, I'm a trans girl. It's not something I really enjoy talking about for a variety of reasons, but It's extremely relevant in my life right now. That wasn't the announcement. The announcement is this: I got a perscription for HRT!! (For those of you out of the loop, HRT is hormone replacement therapy, and is one of the steps to medically transition.) This is extremely exciting for me, obviously. I've been wanting this since I came out, and my mom (who was very uneducated, and seemingly unwilling to learn) was completely against it. I'm not sure what's changed in the past 6 months or so, but she finally let me see a doctor about it, and didn't cause any holdups in the process. I've been waiting for the appointment for 6 months, and it was rescheduled 3 different times, but it was totally worth the wait. I'm so excited for this, and now I only have to wait a bit longer to actually fill the prescription, and then I'm "safe". I know safe is a weird word to use there, but it really has felt, for a long time, that I was racing the clock. Maybe it doesn't end up mattering in the end, but still, I'm glad I can finally stop worrying about it.

Ok, that's all. I promise not to disappear again. I think I can commit to at least one post a week for now. Thank you all for reading!